Paradox?
by Toodamnmanyfandoms
Summary: In which Cornelius Robinson is confused, paradoxes are weird, and bowler hats are discussed.


2037, Robinson Industries

Cornelius Robinson was confused. The year was 2037, and it was two days after the Time Machine Fiasco (that's what the family was calling it).

Cornelius had gone over and over the equations, and it just wasn't adding up. He had told Doris he was never going to invent her, and as far as he remembered, he hadn't.

But then, how was it possible that Doris had ever existed in the first place? Time travel was very confusing, even for the man who invented it, but this just didn't add up.

Suddenly, Franny's voice sounded over the intercom.

"Cornelius, time for dinner."

Dammit. He didn't have time for this. He needed to figure it out.

"Cornelius, don't make me come in there. Remember our deal."

Oh dear. The fact that she was bringing that up was a bad thing-it meant she was worried about him. When they had first started dating, Cornelius had gotten caught up with one project or another, and accidentally not eaten or slept for seventy-four hours. During that time he had also forgotten to contact anyone.

After a couple of days of no contact, Franny had started to worry. After three days, she was frantic. Bud and Lucille, bless their souls, were lovely people, but also kind of flaky. What's more, Lucille had been testing her Double Caffeine Patch (now patented with Robinson Industries and a major hit with college students) and wouldn't have noticed if she was on fire, let alone anything Cornelius was doing.

When she finally became worried enough to go see what had happened, she went over to his house (where she'd been on dozens of playdates and study dates since they were twelve) and asked Bud (who had seemed the most sane. Or the least caffeinated) where Cornelius was. Bud, who hadn't noticed anything was wrong, was concerned and led her straight to Cornelius's private lab, opening the door with a key he apparently had 'in case of emergencies'.

They entered to find an unshaven Cornelius Robinson with deep purple bags under his eyes, and a large bloodstain on his shirt. He had, on closer inspection, sliced himself open on some machine part and apparently not noticed for a day and a half.

As they dragged him away and bandaged him up and tucked him into bed, he was still clinging to a spanner and muttering about a 'big breakthrough'.

The next thing Cornelius remembered was waking up two days later to a room full of frogs, all of whom immediately called for Franny.

When she came in he was sitting up and rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

The first thing she did was push him back down onto the bed, and sit in the chair next to him. Then she threatened to castrate him if he ever worried her like that again.

They had made the deal there and then; she would leave him to his inventing if he checked in with her every six hours, and she reserved the right to force feed him or put him to bed if he went more than nine hours without food or sleep.

At first Cornelius had been a little lax with the rules; letting seven or eight hours slip by without checking in. Over the years, however, she had enlisted other people, people like Bud and Carl the robot/family member and Billie. Nowadays he was lucky if he could get five hours of inventing in a row without being interrupted by one or another

family member. Which, as Franny pointed out, was more than reasonable and, in fact, kind of excessive and, _if you complain about it one more time Cornelius I swear to god-_

"Cornelius!"

He was snapped back to the present by the sound of his wife's voice.

"Coming, love!" He called back, rubbing the scar on his chest from that day, all those years ago. The problem of Doris would have to wait.

The next night Cornelius was in his lab once again, trying once again to figure out how Doris had managed to exist despite him vowing not to invent her.

The only solution he could think of was him inventing her anyway, but he didn't _remember_ doing that, so how could it be possible? It just didn't make any _sense._

 _"_ Cornelius, dinnertime!"

"Coming, dear!"

Several weeks and a lot of negotiating later, Cornelius has managed to convince Franny to give him seven and a half hours of uninterrupted time in the lab, so long as he ate immediately before and after going inside, and as long as he left _immediately_ after getting any injury more severe than a paper-cut.

He had his probability generator-a more complex version of the one he'd programmed Carl with-running through possibilities, as he did the same thing with paper and pen.

After three hours and twenty-three minutes, he had come to one inevitable conclusion; he had to invent Doris.

2007, Inventco Headquarters

"I am _never_ going to invent you." A young Cornelius Robinson says to Doris the sentient bowler hat.

Unbeknownst to him, as those words were spoken, a part of Doris deep down inside, a program hidden under hundreds of layers of programming, so deep that even Doris didn't know it was there-voice recognition confirmed. Self destruct initiated.

Lewis watched with satisfaction as Doris was erased from existence.

In the year 2037, Cornelius Robinson, Father of The Future, smiled as he remembered that day. The day his first real invention worked, the day he got adopted, the day he met his crazy, brilliant family and started working towards the future. His bright future.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. This is just a little idea I came up with while watching MTR for the 38338277th time.


End file.
